top of page
Rogue 5 straight_edited.png

What if Walking Dead was our reality

What the hell would we do if zombies actually existed? More importantl, what would I do? First, the world would go to hell quick because no one would believe it. News, YouTube, newspapers, it doesnt matter, most people wouldnt believe that it was actually happening until it was to late.

Now let's just for this post say the zombies that are in our world are the Walking Dead kind, slow and deadly in numbers. Because let's face it, we would be fucked worse than Bill Cosby if we had 28 days later zombies or the world war Z variety. Having crackhead like flesh eating people running at you hungry as hell with endless stamina isnt something I would look forward to, so let's keep it with the slow bastards.

So first things first, what the hell do I do if zombies exist? I was thinking maybe I let shit take its toll on the surrounding area before i make my move because at this point its everyone for themselves, and humans would be just as dangerous as the zombies. But I cant do this, I gotta make my move quickly and quietly. Water, canned food, vitamins, medicine, and any type of weapon are on my list. So where can I go for all this?

Yup. The shit show that would be Walmart. That place would be a wreck and dangerous, but I gotta do what I gotta do, plus itll give me a little experience in this new war with the dead and the assholes of the human race.

First isle I'm heading to is the water and sports drinks and I'm grabbing as much of it as I can. If you're trying to grab my shit I will flip kick you into another dimension. Dont touch my stuff!

Second place I'm heading to is the hunting section where I'm grabbing machetes, knives, and camping gear. I definitely will need the machete after that douche just tried to take my water.

Third, now that I have my weapon and feel like Rambo, I'm heading toward the can section. Tuna fish, beans, veggies, spam, anything I can get my hands on.

Fourth I'm getting the fuck out of there before things unravel and people start get more violent. If im not out of the store in ten minutes I failed my mission.

Next I'm getting my family and solidifying the area or house we are staying at, because I'm not gonna try and drive away in this shit storm. The traffic will be nuts and most highways will ultimately be cemeteries, as most people will be stuck and eventually dead there. I'd like to avoid that if possible.

So by steps.

Step one: Fight everyone at Walmart Step two: Solidify Surrounding living area

We got the key essentials, food and water, to hopefully last a few weeks if I'm lucky. So now we need to break out some ground rules for the family.

This is where it gets bad. I dont like rules. But I know we need them. But this is a dream type scenario. Killing zombies on a daily basis is something on my to-do-list, and I dont know if I can just hide away and attempt to just survive without going zombie terminator everyday with a small grin.

But let's be honest, if that did happen all rules and plans will go out the window quicker than my dreams of winning the lottery.

I know I can survive on my own, I just do. But with family and friends, I'm not sure. I know if something happened to my children my immediate response would be destroy everything and everyone in the world. Sure its unfeasible to accomplish such a goal, but I feel I'd go down trying. Because without the ones you love what's the point?

So now its twenty four hours into this apocalyptic era of human civilization and I'm already nuts. Like Jack Torrance Shining nuts. And that's something people are just gonna have to deal with.

Step 3: Dont be like me, keep your sanity. Step 4: Weapons and Communication

Step four is simple but will be difficult to attain due to the insane nature of humans, most of these things might be taken, but its important to find walkie talkies, flashlights, batteries, and some sort of weapon other than a machete. Crossbows and guns would work, but I'm not a great shot, so it could be just a safety measure to have one, so people feel safe.

Step 5: Guarding the area We need teams of two protecting our living area and we need to build up a defensive system in order to keep anything out that we dont want in. I dont feel like falling asleep and having some asshole wake me up by eating my face, that doesnt equal a good time in my book.

Step 6: Gas is now gold We need vehicles and fuel. We need to hit up the over priced bastards on car lots and car dealerships and cypher the gas. Sounds easy. And I'm hope people are so panicked they dont think about this, but I cant be the only one who will attempt this in the first week of the fall of mankind.

Step 7: Remaining in a country setting.

In this situation the cities are gonna be fucked. No way around it. The big time cities will be ground zero in all around bullshit. Zombies, crazy humans, the military. Basically hell. I want no part of that. So I'm staying in the country where I can remain hidden and alive.

Step 8: Wait until it all gets cleaned up.

The military should be able to handle this quickly. I still cant understand how Zombies overtook Earth with the weapons we have, a single tank can run over thousands by itself. I do understand that it would get out of control quick, and possibly people deserting the military to be with their families to protect them. But in the end I feel we would contain it fairly quickly, within a span of a month America would be at a steady position trying to fix the issue. ,

But hey, until it happens we wont know. So until then I'll be waiting. Waiting at Walmart. Waiting for the world around me falls apart and I can make my move, declare myself king of Walmart, then move onto king of the world. It's a dream of mine really. Zombies. Survival. Saving the princess from Bowser. But dreams dont always come true.

#WalkingDead #FiveMinutesOfYourTime #Zombies #apocalypse #Walmart #KingOfWalmart #ImNotCrazy

3 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page