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Story time: Carl

It was a nice day out during the fall of my senior year of high-school, I went to the bus stop and heard the bus in all its horror about a mile away. I decided "fuck this" and left to go home knowing full well my mom had a headache and if I was quiet, she wouldn't know I was even there. I also knew she wouldn't pick up the phone if school called.

Nintendo 64 was calling my name after all, so why shouldn't I go back home and play video games.

All is well and good, I'm quiet as hell, but "she" got up, I had to quickly decide what to do, I never thought she'd walk into the basement. There was a love seat that was broken near me that literally ate people. The springs and cushions would pull you into it like quicksand if you'd let it. I decided it was time to disappear and while doing that, I heard the door open....then silence. The springs my back were against decided to betray me and make noise. My mother stood for a second than slammed the door, followed that by locking it. I'm fucked. But I didn't think anything but that would happen. I was wrong.

Voices could he heard from upstairs...then the cracks of the steps from the stairs began to get louder and louder, until the door was unlocked, and opened. I pushed myself almost inside the love seat, to where only my head could be seen. Then I saw the arm pass by, then slowly saw the gun in its hand.

Now I'm like, what in the ever living fuck did my mom do!? He passed by me and went further into the basement, looked around, went all the way around to make sure no one was downstairs. He passed by the couch again and looked at me....I smiled. It was only yesterday that I thought, "What If he panicked and shot me?" I could of startled him and he could of freaked in that split second.

No. Instead he looked at me and said,

"What are you doing?"

"I'm sick"

"You on anything?"

"No. I'm sick." Knowing what I'm saying and how I was hiding that me being sick was totally bullshit.

None of this mattered, the only thing that does is the following:

1. I merged within a love seat like some kind of fucking mutant that merges with objects.

2. My mom called a cop to assassinate me, which isn't the first time she tried to take me out.

3. I'm not even sure now if Carl had his gun our or if his hand was on the gun in a holster like some sort of gunslinger ready to pop a shot off at the very nightmare scenario that would have someone pop out of the furniture.

4. A simple, "Hey, not going to school today because fuck it," would of worked better than getting sucked into the Abyss of the magical loveseat that may or not bring you to Narnia or Mordor.

Final Thoughts: I do stupid shit. Stop it!

#Storytime #Carl #MomIsTryingToTakeMeOut

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