In less than an hour someones life will change as someone will ultimately take the prize pot of 1.6 million dollars as the Mega Millions lottery still goes on. I for one have my ticket and wont even read it. I dont care. I know I lost already, but if fate has me win, I'm sure to do some good shit with it. Well, some crazy shit as well. So let's get into what the fuck I'm doing tomorrow if i wake up a winner.
First things first. I'm walking into work screaming nonsensical shit while wearing Leonardo costume while carrying a giant stuffed penguin. That's how I'm entering the building and thats how I'm leaving.
Second on the agenda, buying a God damn castle with a moat and a drawbridge. I would say I would get a couple active terminators for protection ,but they aren't available yet. Hurry the hell up Walmart!
Third, I'm buying a tank. I want to shoot things in the back yard. Giants, monsters, crazy evil zombie cat ladies. You get the picture.
Fourth I'm starting up a new buisness called, "The swamp of sadness". We will sell almost everything except cocaine. It will be the most random store anyone has ever encountered and I would only hire clowns, mimes, and anyone named Kenobi.
Fifth thing I'm doing is buying the rights to TMNT because fuck you! I feel like I need to make the movie the world needs not what that ass Michael Bay thinks we need.
Sixth thing I'll do is set up most my family. Close family. If your not in this circle I'll get you a Job at Swamps of Sadness. This includes my kids who will be set up for life, when they are older.
Seventh thing on my imaginary list that I'll never see finished because life is cruel, is building the ultimate arcade. Fuck today's arcades, they're ridiculous nowadays. Dumb even. I want my Street fighter, turtles in time, ghostbusters, and Terminator games not a twenty seven dollar hook game that fucks me over even tho I grabbed the God damn stuffed toy! It's like defusing a bomb and then think your through and it explodes anyway. Stupid game.
Eighth on my list of doom is to make the greatest home theater of all time. I want my face to fall off watching a movie. I want half way through a movie, believe I'm in the fkn movie, not being able to figure out what reality is anymore. But that's just me.
Ok. There are some good things that I'd do too. I mean community type stuff.
Homeless shelters for adults, kids shelters, making sure kids are off the streets because kids should not be living in the streets America, what the fuck is the problem!? A work program for the homeless as well, you know, classy shit on my part. Educational programs for area kids, because knowledge is power!
I honestly dont know what I'd do. My luck? I look at the numbers. It shows that I won, I pass out. Suffocate. Now I'm dead. Fucking life has a way of twisting shit around and showing you the light then taking it away from you just as fast. Isnt it Ironic? Dont you think? It's like Rain on your wedding day!.....sorry. I lost my way for a second.
So heres to me, hopefully waking up a billionaire so I can do some cool Batman shit and most likely perishing in the process. Or potentially losing my shit at work out of the sad reality that I lost and must put up with the Joker like shit of my coworkers and only I can save my company by stopping those pricks from doing stupid shit. That's my life. That's my sad reality.
By the way, in case you havent figured it out, the picture of the castle is what I'm buying. Derp. Derp. But I'm sure to be struck with the case of the blues in about thirty seven minutes.