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Life: I feel lost

I feel lost. I'm not that jedi I should be.

Yes, at this very moment I'm lost in life. I'm not sure about my job or what I'm doing. I'm not depressed, just confused. Staring about into oblivion while trying to drive and thinking, "what's the point to any of this?" Sounds like a midlife crisis, but it's not. It's a question that will probably never be answered, yet I still ask it.

While driving, I had an epiphany. I should be President. These are things that plague my nonsensical mind. My imagination runs rampant sometimes of all the delusions I can possibly think of, some are far fetched, some are past memories that I constantly twist to make it a better one until one day I won't know the difference. It's what I do. You take a lie and bundle it up with some truth and ultimately it's almost impossible to tell what is what, I'm not sure why I do this. I'm not even sure what the hell I'm even talking about right now.

I haven't written anything on here in the past few weeks for the main reason that it seems like it's not going anywhere. No matter how much I write and what I want to do, it just sits still. It's difficult. I can do difficult, but it's starting to get overwhelming. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, the website, it's never ending.

I think my problem is also heavily involved with me being up and down with things quickly. I could be 200% into something Monday and then Friday I don't want anything to do with it.

Well fuck! I'm so unmotivated right now and even typing these words feels like some kidnapping terrorist is forcing me to do so.

Should I write? Should I not? Does anyone care? It's like I'm screaming into a void at this point.

The last few weeks I've debated taking over the Earth but just don't know how to go about it. I wonder if there is a self-help book out there that I can use. I'll check ebay.

I would like to do a detailed review of Masters of the Universe, the show was pretty legit, even for a five part chapter one. Kevin Smith is just top notch at this type of thing. I'm also debating doing a review of both Naruto, because it finally ended after seven hundred episodes and one for Star Wars Bad Batch, which happened to grow into one of my favorite shows.

Currently I'm working on a writing project, aka script, aka writing Treatment that I've been doing since 1993....Fuck. I have to many ideas and to many turns and to many characters that I love and to many characters that I want to kill off. It's a fifty year process I suppose.

Like right now, a million ideas rush to my head as I'm writing.

CM Punk and Daniel Bryan from WWE apparently signed with AEW which is big news. My love hate relationship with pro wrestling continues, I probably should go get counseling.

I don't think I'll ever finish Ghost of Tsushima, because I refuse to fast travel anywhere unless it's to the other islands. The damn game is to beautiful to just fast travel everywhere. But, if I don't, I'll never finish the game. God damnit! Stupid Mongol invasion, ruining life in Japan and making me feel for the people they killed.

Speaking of finishing, I just got done watching Black Widow which I was pleasantly surprised, which is what happens when you go in with zero expectations.

Well, that's all I got for now. So I'll leave it on a good note. I AM GROOT.

#jedi #Naruto #Starwars #Heman #blackWidow #AEW #CMPunk

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