Just write....even if it's random

I decided I need to write more, so I have to force myself to everyday, like some sort of writing terrorist that has my hand and mind as a hostage. So I'll write mostly about random shit, whatever I'm doing during the day, and the things I'm doing in life. Pretty much to just keep up on it.

My mind...yes, it's still all over the place. I was able to control my emotions for a very long time, but now it's like it's leaking here and there to the point of being uncontrollable. I remember as a kid I would be up and down with my enotions, being from sadness, to unpredictable rage, to being lonely, to feeling there was just to much going on. As a kid I also had problems with focus, as I do now on most days.

You see my mind has a projector inside, weird, I know, but it randomly plays memories and movie scenes during the day. I'm not sure why, it just does, and it almost always happens when someone is talking to me, it's like a coping mechanism or maybe a word triggers these to pop up in my head, not sure on that.

Currently I'm ok, my mind drifts back and forth to avoidable mistakes in life, some make me cringe, others make me extremely sad. Instead of talking about these issues, I just push them further down the trash inside myself, hoping it doesn't come out again. Working helps, especially my buddy who I work with, we have fun pretty much all day in a job that many people don't have fun at.

I wish I had the ability to just say what was on my mind instead of holding it in. Sometimes though, I just can't shut the fuck up about anything. It's weird, there's like five different 'mes' and I'm not sure who the real slim shady is anymore.

On a side note, Zuckerberg is creating the prequel to the Matrix, where we'd live inside a digital world and get harvested by machines so they can live. Meta, which replaces Facebook, will change the world. I think it's just a premeditated way go unleash Skynet, but that's just me.

You think we'll look back on Metas beginning and think, "Maybe we should of stopped Ultron when we had the chance?"

Anyway...diet is going alright, I made fresh string beans with mushrooms and spinach, covered in garlic. Also some chicken cutlets, plain basically. I liked it, so I guess that's good.

It's almost Halloween! My six year old is excited, probably the only one out of the six kids that is. My toddler, "minature Hulk", doesn't understand yet, but he loves Halloween stuff, minus the scary shit. He hates seeing most the things at Spirit of Halloween, which I can't blame him, to a little kid some of the stuff look real enough.

I think that's enough random babble for one day. On that note...Go Knicks! They beat the undefeated Bulls even though they played like shit in the fourth quarter. Wooo! Now only if the Giants can take down the Chiefs Monday night, that will make it a good sports week.

#Random #Blog #Thoughts #MyMind