It's that time of year where the real battle begins. The battle for best Christmas movie in a tournament to the death! That's the Christmas way, a battle between rivals and allies to be named best movie during these holidays. That's the American dream isnt it? To become champion of Christmas movies is what we all should aspire to be and what glorious satisfaction it will be to know you, the reader, have the power to do this.
That's right, you the reader will vote for best Christmas movie as we put films up one on one, as it should be. Single combat is the way to go here. (There can be only one.) Yes, I quoted highlander, what you gonna do about it!?
So with that said let's get this show on the road and talk about the players of this months tournament of doom.
These movies are ranked differently between everyone I'm sure and as we all have our favorites, some will fall to others just because of the generated bracket, which makes things interesting. The tournament rankings will be random so we should get some pretty cool battles between movies. But again, its up to you the voter to push this along.
So let's get into the 16 Films that have been called upon to join this tournament, like in Bloodsport.
16. Christmas Chronicles, starring Jack Burton aka Kurt Russell. Yes this baby is new on Netflix and had its moments. But can this rookie throw a monkey wrench into the rest of the films chances of winning it all? Its definitely a dark horse but its fresh and has a different take on Santa, which I enjoyed. I think this Santa could take Tim Allen's Santa Clause in a bar room fight if that's what your asking. But movie wise? I think they can knock a few movies out of the tourney.
15. Polar Express: In my eyes, I love this movie. Yes its animated and that takes away from the film in a way, but as a Christmas movie it takes the cake. Chocolate cake. Mmmm....Tom Hanks stars in this and that should be enough. Having a superstar apart of your franchise could easily turn the tides of battle. Can it win? You can bet your pretty ass it can.
14. A Christmas Story: The odds on favorite to win if I had to put money on it, why else would we watch this film endlessly on Christmas day. But can it hold up to the current string of movies as well as classics before it? Time will tell if Ralphie gets his ass kicked once and for all or if he avoids shooting his eye out and dominates.
13. Love Actually: Yeah I admit it, I do like a cute romantic movie every once and awhile and this movie makes me smile. It has Kiera Knightly before she became a pirate, it has every great British actor in existence including Mr Bean. It has the kid that almost beat Nanny McPhee who died in Game of Thrones, and it has Rick Grimes before the world went to hell. Can this movie derail a pure Santa Clause movie? I think it can give a few punches but ultimately will fall even though it's a decent Christmas time movie.
12. Gremlins: Ah yes, that Christmas horror comedy classic that has mutants running around town killing people. That's right, Gizmo and company are here to push a few buttons and create a little choas in this tournament. The mom who is Loraines mom from back to the future is here to blend away the competition and send several films spiraling into the swamp of sadness.
11. White Christmas: Not gonna lie, this is probably one of my favorite Christmas movies of all time. Ralphie can eat shit, he has nothing on Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye. I'm pretty sure the Haynes sisters can flip kick Ralph's dad in the face too. A romantic music comedy that you cant go wrong with. This 1954 classic will sure to put down some films and send them packing. It's also on Netflix!
10. Home Alone: Who didnt love this movie when it came out!? Really tell them so I can throw a can of paint at their face. The McAllister boy being left home alone to cause two crooks problems and basically torturing them for our pleasure while we all laughed about. Good stuff. Marv and Harry got the shit kicked out of them and I think this movie is gonna put a beat down in the tournament. This is a potential winner here because who doesnt love a Christmas movie where two guys are almost assassinated by a kid.
9. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation: This is in my top three for me, Chevy Chase is an absolute stud in this movie. Hes so clearly over his head in all phases which puts him in some terrible situations. This is a classic that had withstood the test of time. Clark Griswold and his family can easily take down the McAllisters in a fist fight. Although I think Uncle Frank would give Clark a run for his money. This movie could potentially throw the tournament out of wack depending on who the face. Definitely a potential tourney winner.
8. Elf: Santa!!! You sit on a throne of lies. Tickle fight! Quotes galore within this gem of a movie. Will Ferrell is a top notch comedic actor that can make any scrooge laugh about into a state of unconsciousness. You got Elves, Santa, the park Rangers, and super snowball fights, what's not to love about this timeless classic where a little boy is kidnapped by Santa mistakenly and kept at the north pole anyway. Another potential underdog winner that I wont bet against.
7. Jingle all the way: Yes! Its Turbo time! Arnold Schwarzeneggers amazing performance in this 1996 classic Christmas movie will go unnoticed by some, but mark my words, this movie is so bad that it's good. This film might look like a dud but I assure you, if you sleep on this movie it will knock you out. I can see this pushing through the first round at least and playing spoiler against a better known movie.
6. The Grinch: Another movie on Netflix stars Jim Carey who has a solid performance as Dr. Suess' well known character. The Grinch torments the people of whoville as a measure of revenge for how he was treated when he was young. A classic tale of revenge, redemption, love, hate, and family. The Grinch can steal this tourney like he stole Christmas, even with his heart two sizes bigger now, hes got a mean streak, long reach, and has the quickness to pull off some stunning victories here.
5. Nightmare before Christmas: Yes, I know, "But it's a Halloween movie." Well allow me to retort, "shut up!" It's got Santa in the damn movie, so its on the list, and since 1993 it's been fighting the good fight, kind of like Sylvester Stallone in Rocky 75. Jack the Pumpkin King and his minions of Halloween town along with the alliance of Christmas town can push this fearsome force to the finals and beyond. I wouldnt bet against Sally or the Boogie Man helping defeat the rest of these movies in the tournament.
4. Santa Claus: Tim Allen made one of the best Christmas movies of all of time and space. Yea, I concede that this movie is timeless, although not perfect, it's still a great movie that I watch every year multiple times. Our new Santa has defeated time, Jack Frost, and a clone of his self in his trilogy of movies. This alone makes him a huge favorite going forward and if this was based on rankings, this movie would probably generate a top 3 in my book.
3. Babes in toyland: No No No! Not that movie that had Drew Barrymore and Keanu Reeves, get your head out of your ass! Dont even bring what ever movie they made up again! I'm talking about the 1934 version that had Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy! The classic movie that always comes on around this time is still a punching away, much like George Foreman did until he was 86 years old. Between the acting, comedy, and the final battle between the monsters and wooden soldiers, i put this movie in the top five and another potential winner, although the age of the film could hurt its chances.
2. Scrooged: Bill Murray is superb in this Christmas comedy. The old timeless classic of the three ghosts that help Scrooge see his ways of living and change him for the better is reinvented In a funny way only Bill Murray knows how. The former ghostbuster and his array of ghosts are a huge underdog but I feel they have what it takes to make a run if given the opportunity.
1. Miracle on 34th street: Not to reign on anyone's parade, I know the 1947 version is technically better, but I'm giving the nod to the 1994 version with the star of Matilda because of her being put in danger at school and it's still a cute movie. Yes I know the acting isn't as good, but damnit I like it so get over it. Sure this could be the jobber of this tournament, just placed here so another movie can get a quick win and move on, but hey, I'm giving it a chance!
Let the games begin!