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Christmas Evil, a tale of a man who really wanted to be the next Santa.



With Christmas on the way comes a whole slew of incredible movies to watch, from the classics like A Christmas Story to the delightful Home Alone series minus the latest one. Or if your like me and you write horror novels while watching some of the finest Hallmark Christmas movies known to mankind. We often overlook some of the finer movies to watch. Now, you might not want to watch this movie with the family. It depends, though. If your like me, you watched this one like it was the start of a crazy religion, and that movie is Christmas Evil. I used to watch a film on a wonky old VHS tape my dad once had while I lived in the barren wastelands of the Northwest Territories.


Let me set the picture like this. Picture me nine years old with nothing better to do than watching old Twilight Zone reruns and playing video games. I stumbled upon this gem of a movie by accident, actually. I remember sneaking it to the living room when everyone was sleeping one cold winter morning, and I was instantly hooked. It opened my eyes to a world I never knew existed, and I'm not going to lie, but it was as if on that day I became a man.


Set in the wastelands of New Jersey, and I do mean that with the utmost respect. A guy who works in the town toy factory by the name of Harry that everyone makes fun of. But Harry, unlike many people he has a dream. Now, his dream isn't to throw the first pitch at the World Series or try to win the lottery like so many people I see standing in line while I'm trying to get gas right before work. But his dream is to become the next Santa. Picture it as a more intense version of Ernest Saves Christmas. But remove the loveable character of Ernest and those two weirdos at the Post Office. With a cosplayer who sleeps in his costume and most likely cries in the shower.


So one night, Harry's coworker is a man by the name of Frank who's just trying to weasel out of his shift to enjoy the finer things in life. Tells Harry that he wants to go home and be with his family. But this is where Harry's world comes tumbling down. Harry learns an important lesson in not being a sucker and discovers Frank at a bar with his lowlife friends. Not being the kind of guy to take this lying down, Harry goes insane even though he should've known better than to trust anyone by the name of Frank, to be honest. So what does Harry do? Does he just shrug it off? Does he go nuts and kill everyone in the bar like a real movie hero would? No, instead, he goes home and plays with his dolls and hums stupid music that quite frankly reminded me of my good ole pal Corky.




Being angry with how the world treats him cause there's something normal about wanting to be the next REAL Santa. Harry cancels a free meal with his brother and begins to slip into utter insanity. Soon comes the big day, Christmas Eve. The day where Santa has to get ready to go out and bring joy to all the kids of the world. But while Harry is out and about, he is mocked by three local schmucks by Peter, Charlies, and the worst of them all Binky. These three fellas are nothing but trouble with their insults and mockery of our next Santa Harry. So in a fit of rage and wanting to spread the Christmas spirit, he kills the three lowlifes with a hatchet and a toy. Bringing the true spirit of Christmas, he flies off the handle. He brings about his own spirit of the holiday to those naughty individuals.


While his tirade of killing everyone with his sack of beautiful toys and other assorted weapons. But just like the real Santa, he heads back to his subpar job on the assembly line and destroys every toy he finds because he sees them as nothing more than junk. Now, this is an excellent reminder of why you should never take your job too seriously. If you want to be the next Sandra or any other fictional character, seek immediate help from a trained professional. Soon he goes back to see his brother, and there's a fight which leads to the GREATEST Christmas scene to ever EXIST. Harry, aka not the real Santa, hops into his excellent van and takes it off a sweet jump over the moon and a voice says, "The Night Before Christmas". Do yourself a favor and watch this fantastic movie with those you love; you won't regret it.



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